You’re seeing the person you’ve loved and known your whole life slowly slip away. And if that doesn’t make someone – anyone! – want to scream, I don’t know what does.
You’re grieving, for the loss of the person you knew. And one of the stages of grief is anger.
You will lose your temper occasionally. But you have to forgive yourself Guilt is a destructive emotion, and it will only cause you more frustration. It’s OK to feel sad after you’ve yelled. But not guilty. Now more than ever, you need to give yourself a break.
And speaking of breaks… it’s also OK to give yourself an occasional break from your mother. You can take her to an adult day care center. You can hire someone to watch her, giving you the chance to get out. You probably have more resources than you realize, once you include family, friends, neighbors, church groups, etc.
In addition, make sure to take care of your own needs! Join a support group. Seek professional counseling. Either can help you address your guilt about losing your temper.
When it comes to guilt, however, few occasions give rise to it as much as putting your mother in a nursing home, group home, or assisted living facility. But if you can’t get your anger under control, that may be best for both of you.
If you do have to go that route, though – DON’T FEEL GUILTY! You can still be involved in her care. You can still see her as much as you want. And when you do, your time together may be much more rewarding… and much less stressful.
At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we know the Dementia Journey – because we’re Elder Law attorneys. And we have one of the largest Alzheimer’s/Dementia Resource Centers in South Florida.
Over the past 33 years, we’ve walked thousands of South Florida families through the Dementia Journey. And we’ve prepared them for that journey, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid or the VA.
We know the way. And we’re just a phone call away.
I Lost My Temper With My Mother Today. How Can I Deal With My Anger?