The nurse’s “secret” is really not much of a secret, at all – your Mom’s not related to her! Many Alzheimer’s/Dementia patients are more cooperative with non-family members.
Why? Apparently, our loved ones often feel they can be themselves – warts and all – in front of family. But, in front of outsiders, they often tend to be on their best behavior. (Not really so different from everybody else, when you think about it.)
I always tell my clients not to take it personally. Your mother isn’t doing it to hurt you – she has dementia. With many forms of dementia, the inhibitions that once held us back are thrown to the winds. And so, quite often, are courtesy and manners and respect for your own family.
The biggest task of any caregiver? Letting things go. If she needs to have her way – whether it’s eating, bathing, etc. – as long as it’s not harmful to her, let her have it! If she wants ice cream for her “healthy” snack, don’t argue.
When a potential confrontation looms, take a step back. Ask yourself if this confrontation is really necessary. You’re only going to win just so many battles… so choose them wisely.
Don’t keep score. You can always try again later… and you may be surprised at the result.
When you’re a caregiver to someone with Alzheimer’s or Dementia, it often seems as if the slightest little request or activity can turn into a major deal.
We can help. At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we specialize in guiding families through the Dementia Journey. And we’ve got one of the largest Alzheimer’s/Dementia resource centers in South Florida.
Over the past 33 years, we’ve walked thousands of South Florida families through the Alzheimer’s/Dementia Journey. And we’ve helped them prepare for it, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.
We know every step of the Alzheimer’s/Dementia Journey – and we can walk you through it. And we’re only a phone call away.
My Mom Cooperates for her Nurse… But not for Me. What’s the Secret?